The Blame Phase of Healing

Being through it myself, but also watching others on their journey, it's easy to enter the blame phase in healing. I firmly believe it is important to understand our past and understand how our environment and caretakers impacted our development, beliefs, and behaviors. And let's be honest, they say parenting doesn't come with a handbook for a reason . Nobody knows how to do it right, hence a negative lasting impact on their children. 

There is grief that comes over you when you realize what you never really had and realize all the ways your current beliefs and behaviors are negatively impacted based on what you saw and experienced. It's the idea of never having a "shot" of being different, experiencing healthier, and having different. 

The thing is, understanding how our past impacts our present is important, but not for blame or to be a victim of our current behavior because, let's face it...

You're an adult today!

You are in control over your decisions.

You may not have all the tools to do it differently, but you are accountable for what you say, do, and believe. 

But acknowledging how your past programmed you today is for understanding, learning, and being accountable in realizing that "I want to do (insert behavior) differently!"

At a certain point in your healing and process of grief, there comes a phase, should you work towards it, to empowerment. It’s about understanding that you can do things differently; while it may be difficult and extremely uncomfortable, you are capable of changing the trajectory of your life and relationships.

So sure, you weren't taught how to do things in a healthier way, but you were taught what you don't want to experience again. 

There is beauty in that. You just have to choose to find it. 

✨ Ready for Your Breakthrough?

If this message stirred something in you then don’t ignore it. Whether you're grieving, navigating life transitions, or just tired of feeling stuck, you don't have to stay there. Healing is possible. Peace is possible. And you were created on purpose, for a purpose.

🌿 Start by downloading your FREE copy of The Reset Mindset — a 30-day challenge and workbook designed to help you rewire your brain, overcome limiting beliefs, and create lasting change. You don’t have to be perfect, just willing.

👉 Download The Reset Mindset for Free

💬 Ready to go deeper? If you're located in Georgia and feel called to begin therapy, I'd love to connect with you. Book a FREE 15-minute consultation and let's talk about what's possible for you.

👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation

Your breakthrough doesn’t have to wait.

It starts now.

Let’s walk this journey, together.

Till Next Time,

Kristine Santiago, MA, APC