Healing Can Feel Lonely

Nobody prepares you for the loneliness that comes with the healing journey. 

Nobody tells you that you will actively lose certain relationships when your paradigm shifts.

Nobody tells you how hard it can be to let go of people that don't serve you or how to change your expectations of them if you decide to keep them in your life.

And nobody, nobody tells you how difficult it can be to find new relationships that share the same commitment level of change, have the same values as you, and have reached a compatible level of healing. 

Healing can feel lonely. 

In my post, 'The Power of Loneliness and Finding Comfort Within", I talk about how this same loneliness, while challenging, can also serve as a catalyst for growth and strengthen you as an individual. I will not act like it's easy to be in this phase of loneliness or tell you it's a short season in life. It may be for some, but it hasn't been for me. My craving for authentic relationships and a solid, supportive community is strong, and I am still working to find it. 

But I can tell you that while it can feel painful to feel this lonely, nothing hurts more and feels more hopeless than the pain of unresolved trauma and unhealthy, undeserving, and uninspiring relationships. 

I've decided not to settle for anything less than a relationship that adds to my life. No more one-sided relationships. No more serving as someone's support system to people that cannot support me. No more small-minded people that dismiss my goals, feelings, and abilities. No more accepting the projection of someone else's insecurities, passive aggressiveness, or ineffective communication. 

No more. 

I would instead feel these growing pains of growth than settle for anyone that will hinder my growth and erase all the progress I have made. 

So yes, healing is lonely, but nothing in life lasts forever. If you are struggling in this lonely season of healing, think about how far you've come. If someone does not add to your life then I hope you can find the strength to not settle for it. You deserve more; you just have to believe it.